Go ahead, Peter. Touch her. I audibly gasped when this line was delivered in “Spider-Man: Brand-New Day”. The shock factor was almost unfairly effective. I couldn’t tear my eyes from the screen as Peter Parker’s dream world – where MJ remembers, knows and loves him – is torn apart in an instant. I looked down. My fingernails, so long before the movie started, were now worn to nubs.
Okay, spoiler aside.
This moment was riveting, but it also got me thinking: how can we explain the magnetic pull Spider-Man has on us?
Since Tobey Maguire’s 2002 “Spider-Man”, this beloved character has captivated us on the big screen, with reboots, animated films and spinoffs galore. By all accounts, we should be exhausted of this skinny blue-and-red insect-kid by now. (Goodness gracious, his reign has lasted longer than my lifetime.)
And yet, we aren’t.
Our parents watched Spider-Man. We watched Spider-Man. Our younger siblings watched Spiderman. Meanwhile, Iron Man, Captain America and Batman – once equally relevant – have fallen to the wayside.
Why?
When we look at the underlying concepts that propel each character, the answer becomes much simpler than we may have first imagined.
Just think about it. Ironman is about power. Batman is about justice. Captain America is about patriotism and war.
Peter Parker is about personhood.
Ironman asks, “What should my power be used for?”
Batman asks, “Where can I pursue justice?”
Captain America asks, “Who do I stand for?”
Spider-Man asks, “Who am I?”
That question never becomes irrelevant.
We don’t still watch Spider-Man because he’s physically intimidating (he isn’t), or because he’s extremely good- looking (although I have a soft spot for Tom- those curls!), or because he’s loaded with money or because he’s confident or a genius.
We watch him because he connects to the part inside us that is still a kid just trying to figure it out.
Even at 80, I think I’ll still feel like I’m 13 with a bad hair day.
And that’s okay.
Maybe that’s Spider-Man’s genius – his soul never grew past 13.
And that’s why he is ageless. That’s why every generation gets its own Spider-Man.
Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man is the Millennial Spider-Man.
He wasn’t the popular kid. He’s awkward, and not in an adorable way. He wants a normal life but feels the weight of responsibility. He deals with grief early by losing Uncle Ben. He wants love but doesn’t feel like he deserves it. Much like many millennials, he realizes that growing up means sacrifice and making the right choice, but sometimes, making the right choice doesn’t always lead to happy endings.
He’s earnest in an almost old-fashioned way. He’s nerdy and different.
The fact that he is makes people of his generation feel like they can be too.
And then there is Andrew Garfield.
Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man speaks to those in the gap between Millennials and Gen Z (Zillennials, if you will).
He’s more socially skilled than Tobey’s Spider-Man, but also more wounded and raw. Cynical, suspicious and skeptical by nature, he takes a risk by loving Gwen – and then ultimately loses her. For Zillennials, this kind of thing feels painfully familiar. They are young enough to remember the carefree days of the ‘90s, but old enough to have watched the world become disconnected with the advent of technology. They live in a strange space between two worlds, much like Andrew’s Peter.
Much like them, he doesn’t trust anyone.
He builds on Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man when he ultimately realizes: you can’t shield yourself from all pain, so you’ve GOT to make life bigger than just yourself.
And then there’s Tom.
Gen Z’s Spider-Man.
He’s just a kid. Just 15. He’s chronically online. He’s more connected, more adorable, more public-facing- much like Gen Z.
But he’s got his questions, too.
Am I good enough? Do I know what I’m doing?
Am I ready to do this?
Sound familiar?
Oh, Gen Z. We’re more visible, yet more uncertain than ever. And yet – in the midst of all these questions every generation asks, what strikes me the most is that the answer is yes.
Yes. You’re ready.
Tobey’s Spider-Man survived Uncle Ben’s death. Andrew’s Spider-Man survived Gwen’s. Tom’s survived everyone he ever knew and loved, forgetting he ever existed.
And they kept going.
Not because they got everything they wanted. But because they woke up every single day and chose to continue to work on themselves.
Because they trusted that they didn’t have to have every question answered to move through life. They just had to do the next thing.
Maybe that’s what Spider-Man gives us.
Not an answer to Who am I?
But rather permission to keep asking it.
So yeah, maybe there will be a fourth Spider-Man. And a fifth. And a sixth.
Because maybe the big screen needs a character who’s still figuring it out. A character who’s scared. A character who wants love. A character who gets it wrong and learns from it.
Much like we do.
We don’t love Spider-Man because he’s perfect. But rather because he isn’t.
Because as long as we keep asking, whether 15 or 50, who am I? Spider-Man will endure.
In the meantime, I’m going to work on growing out my fingernails.
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