“There’s a lot of baggage that comes with us, but it’s like Louis Vuitton baggage; you always want it.”
OK, Kim. That’s one way to call yourself toxic. I can’t say I’m surprised.
I don’t know about you, but when I see the flamboyantly painted, shamelessly botoxed faces of the Kardashian women, I feel a little drawn in. (Is that bad?)
It’s hard to deny that their faces and figures are captivating. I wouldn’t mind borrowing their beauty for a day. Well, I wouldn’t mind until it means waking up at 4:30 a.m. for a grueling, questioning-my-life-choices workout and spending upwards of a million dollars to maintain hair that’s only half natural, nails that have been filled in more times than is healthy, and a wardrobe no one’s grandma would be proud of.
Still, a little part of me has always wanted to rock a bleached lob the way Khloé does. And what little girl didn’t dream of being so beautiful you’d land a career as a supermodel?
Kendall, can we get some tips? Given she’s “literally built as an athlete,” and clinically confirmed to be “over the normal limit of athleticness,” as she said, I’d better give up those dreams, because apparently she’s cornered the market.
I’m torn. I kinda want it, but know I shouldn’t.
I soothe my inner battle with vanity with the knowledge that I have at least 10 million comrades sharing my experience watching the Kardashians.
Debuting in 2007, “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” (KUWTK) ran for 20 seasons, spanning 14 years of reality TV that’s anything but real.
The upper class white matriarchy earns up to $7.5 million per person per season and offers viewers a peek into their high-dollar sin struggles — you know, envy, vanity, greed, and the like. They’re no different from the people sitting on the couch, but the checks they get in the mail mean their otherwise internal bouts of conceit very rarely remain internal.
Their endless drama fanned the flame of that made KUWTK so addicting. “Kim, stop taking pictures of yourself. Your sister’s going to jail,” Kris said, heavily leaning into her “momager” era, managing her daughters’ businesses, lives and emotions.
The show’s subsequent docuseries, “The Kardashians,” began in 2022 and has run for seven seasons. Season 8 is set to release on October 8. Pitched by Kris Jenner and run by Hulu, it shares much of the same flavor as its predecessor, with a few exceptions.
The more recent version gives personal drama a bit of a backseat, letting their roles as businesswomen shine instead. “Momager” Kris Jenner spends her days managing her daughters’ brand deals and business ventures. All five daughters are proud business owners of corporations selling products ranging from shapewear and makeup to alcohol and clean supplements.
They are their own products in more ways than one. More than their products, they’re selling their lifestyles, relationships and emotional complexities.
Not only are they selling a budget and a body you and I will never have, but they’re selling honesty. Not the kind that comes from a successful war against the flesh, but the kind that comes from a person not even putting up a fight.
They say and do the things we wish we could: the things that self-control, social acceptability and a budget make impossible.
That’s what’s addicting. The Kardashians plaster on a 65-inch Samsung what happens when someone indulges the what-ifs that are normally confined to your inner monologue.
The voice sounds the same in all of us. You know the one. It’s the voice telling you to push the glass to the edge of the table “just to see what would happen.” It’s the voice telling you to say the thing, to end the friendship and boost your ego.
Like every other indulgence of the flesh, you’re purchasing momentary pleasure at the price of lingering guilt. It does something to you to see this exchange occur freely in the lives of people exercising no restraint. It makes the voice feel a little stronger, a little more enticing.
That’s exactly the problem. It presses on the tension in every person (especially in believers) between the desires for restraint and indulgence. For the person seeking to cultivate restraint, it’s counterproductive to water the seed of indulgence through a show like “The Kardashians.”
In the words of Kourtney Kardashian, “I’m unsubscribing from this drama.” Be my guest, and let me follow you out.
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