The Pandemic, Providing An Athlete The Opportunity To Rediscover Her Identity

On Sunday, March 8, I was sitting on the bus with my hands laying on a bag of ice.  I had been hit on both of my hands while at the plate.  My knuckles were bruised, and I had a blood blister on one of my fingers. 

The University of Montevallo had just run-ruled us 10-1.  They had also beaten us in both games of the doubleheader the day before.  It was a very disappointing and frustrating weekend of softball to say the least.

I was disgusted that we had just been swept, but I knew that there were a lot more games left in the season to turn it around.  At the time, I was physically and emotionally exhausted.  I could not wait for our off-day the next day, and honestly, I wished that we could have had more than one off-day.  Little did I know that our game on Sunday, March 8, would be our last game of the season, and that, within a week, I would have all the off-days I could ever want.

When I first found out that our games were canceled, I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me.  Softball seemed like the one thing that would always be certain.  The future of our season was very bright.  However, within a span of about 48 hours, all of the hopes for our season were lost.

After my initial shock, I knew that I had to do something to get myself past what had happened.  I decided to pour my efforts into preparation for the next opportunity to step on the field again.  So, that’s what I did.  I worked out.  I ran.  I hit front toss.  I did whatever I could to get myself ready.  At times I may have overdone it, but that’s what I felt like I needed to do to make the unexpected break worthwhile.

Now, nearly six months later, we still have no idea when we will take the field again.  I know that all of the leaders in charge of this are trying their hardest to get us back out there as soon as they can.  However, it is still really frustrating to have no idea when anything is going to happen, especially when the MLB and NBA are already playing games again. 

I think that losing softball as an everyday part of my life has shown me how much I rely on it through all that it has brought me, from the relationships with my coaches and teammates to the constancy of the game itself.

Mackenzie Sher, Union University’s softball head coach, always reminds me and my teammates that our identity is not in softball.  Before the pandemic, I agreed with what she said, but it truly hit home when I lost softball for what has seemed like an eternity. 

Without practices and games to bring us together every day, I have had to learn to be more intentional in my relationships with my teammates and coaches.  I have had time to consider that maybe God allowed softball to be taken from me so that I would have an opportunity to realize that I am more than a softball player and to recognize that nothing in this world is certain.

However, even through the uncertainty, I have been holding on to the hope that we will get softball back sooner rather than later.  When I am finally able to step on the dirt again, I will strive to always give my all, knowing that tomorrow is definitely not guaranteed.  I never want to complain about being tired again, and I want to walk into each practice and game with a new-found appreciation for the amazing opportunities that God has given me. 

Most importantly, though, I want to be more mindful that softball is just a sport; it is not who I am.  I desire to find my identity in Christ more than ever before. I am blessed that God has given me something as fun as softball to use as a way to be a light for Him and to spread His love.  I never want to take that gift for granted again. 

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About Grace White 23 Articles
Grace White, a member of the bicentennial class of Union University, is the Sports Editor for Cardinal & Cream. She's a journalism major and softball player for Union. She loves old television shows, such as "The Andy Griffith Show," "The Dick Van Dyke Show," and "I Love Lucy."

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