Most students graduate high school, pack their bags and brace themselves for — or celebrate — the newfound independence awaiting them in college. Regardless of their mindset, a college freshman’s Welcome Week can be overwhelming.
In the first few days, students navigate a brand new home, make community, participate in dorm events, attend parties, join clubs and go to the grocery store only to realize they’ve never cooked raw meat in their lives.
Some might hear the words “boarding school” and imagine it as a punishment — sullen students sitting in their classes and staring out the window, longing for freedom. But Daniel Barnes, a senior social work major, and Audrey Cooke, a senior journalism major, have different stories to tell.
Barnes attended Rift Valley Academy (RVA) in Kijabe, Kenya, and Cooke attended Black Forest Academy (BFA) in Kandern, Germany. Listening to their stories got me thinking: is boarding school a college cheat code?
“You can learn a lot from being independent at an early age,” Barnes said. “I feel ready to be an adult and have an adult life and tackle all the things that come with it.”
“That’s where I really learned how to cook food,” Cooke said. “Me and the girls would make pasta, and we always had a huge thing of rice in the fridge.”
Learning independence in community was helpful for both Barnes and Cooke. Dorm life was bursting with new friends and teachers who helped students through the transition.
“The way that the dorms at BFA are structured, it’s very much like a big family,” Cooke said. “It was really great to truly become sisters and family with these girls.”
Traditions such as family dorm nights, Bible studies and, of course, study sessions over Ramen noodles accented Cooke’s boarding school experience.
Barnes, too, reminisced about his favorite memories: ditching events with his friends, setting up mattress dominoes, and, of course, playing soccer with his dormmates.
“The first few days I was there, I saw guys playing soccer out on the field,” Barnes said. “Little did I know that was going to be what I did every single night.”
Sometimes, it’s easier to make friends as a high schooler.
“There’s closeness in being young and figuring out relationships at that age,” Barnes said. “You’re kind of forced to make mistakes and learn and grow and do the kinds of things you do in college, just without the adult life.”
In college, there’s not only pressure to be an adult but also demands for time and attention from all different directions.
“It was different because of the age,” Cooke said. “There aren’t as many categories that people put themselves into.”
Barnes recalled coming into college and saying to himself, “I already did this.” As his roommates and peers sought out friends to do life together, Barnes turned his attention to his academics.
“I felt like I got most of my college experience in high school, so my college experience has been mostly me focusing on the school part and less the relationships and community part,” Barnes said. “After boarding school, I thought I didn’t need a college life, but now, I think I could’ve lived a little more of one.”
For Cooke, college was just a new community. She integrated quickly, developing close friendships while staying on top of her schoolwork.
“Thankfully, Union does have a strong push to get out and meet new people,” Cooke said. “I didn’t find it super hard to make a community here.”
Even with a strong college community, the trials of being an adult can make you miss simpler times. And even without the extra burdens of adulthood, with all of their games and traditions, boarding school students get homesick, too.
Rift Valley’s schedule — three months at school, one month at home — gave students ample time to spend with their families and helped make the transition easier.
“You hear, ‘You were sent to boarding school as a high schooler,’ and you immediately imagine they had a rough relationship with their parents,” Barnes said. “But after three months, I was pretty ready to see my family.”
Boarding school students know the drill already, but when the time comes, are they more ready to be on their own?
“I knew how to handle it more, but it didn’t take away from the pain of not being able to see my family,” Cooke said.
Boarding school life and college life are not created equal, but the experience shaped both Barnes and Cooke, preparing them to form community and strike out on their own.
“My last soccer game, I played with my dormmates,” Barnes said, “And every second, I was taking it in, thinking, ‘This is the last time I’m going to play with my brothers.’”
Attending boarding school helped teach both Cooke and Barnes how to build community and adapt to new environments. Boarding school sets them apart, not exactly as a cheat code, but maybe in their independence, the sense of having done this before. Maybe, in that sense, the boarding school experience isn’t a replacement for college, just a trial run.
