When you think of the word “college”, what’s the first picture that comes to your mind? Maybe you think of joyful things about it: late-night cookout runs, giggling late at night with your friends in your dorm, or dancing your hardest at an open party. Or maybe you think of not-so-joyful things: cramming for your finals, trying to stay awake in yet another boring lecture, or trying your best not to snap at your roommates.
Regardless of what you think about when you hear the word “college”, it’s fair to say this definition varies slightly from person to person. However, it’s interesting that most of the experiences I just mentioned have one thing in common: they are associated with the experience of a residential student, not a commuter. This raises some intriguing questions: What is the college experience to the commuter versus the residential student? Do commuters fundamentally have a different definition of the college experience than a residential student, or is college simply what you make it? And finally, do you forfeit many of the benefits of college when you decide to live at home?
To answer this question, I recruited two Union students with two very different experiences: Lily Grace (often referred to as LG) Wamble, senior psychology major (and my RA) from Memphis, TN, who has been heavily involved in ResLife and Student Activities Council, and Margee Stanfield, senior journalism major (and our very own editor-in-chief), who has commuted all four years of college.
Before talking about their current experiences, I asked them both what they thought college would be like growing up and where those expectations came from. Despite their different personalities (Margee is warm, deep, and a bit on the quieter side, and LG is bubbly and occasionally profound), they surprisingly had very similar takes.
“Growing up, I was under the impression everyone went to college,” LG said. “I was always taught to value it. I watched all the stereotypical films . . . I thought it was all about Greek life and clubs and sports . . . I just thought, I’m going to play all the intramural games. I’m going to join all the clubs.”
Margee echoed this idea. “My idea of what college would be like definitely shifted over the years. At first, it was just from movies and stuff, probably. Then I realized I thought it meant just always being immersed on the campus and [once you became a student], you would just fall into being involved in a ton of different things naturally.”
Hearing these two talk, it became clear to me media oftentimes gives us the impression we’ll have “the perfect college experience” without trying. We’re subtly taught that if you just show up on campus, friendships and fulfillment will follow effortlessly. But is that actually true? Is having a good college experience dependent on our efforts, or does it “just happen” to some people and not to others?
Now, as a senior, LG defines the college experience less as a stereotype and more as an opportunity to experience freedom. “In my major, we talk a lot about this; we call it emerging adulthood. It’s your first taste of independence. I think [to have a fulfilling experience] it is very important to be involved in clubs and organizations . . . I think the experience is about making as many memories, and as many friends as possible, and truly being involved helps you do that . . . granted, there’s a lot of people here who just want to get their degree and don’t want to mess around . . . I understand that, but I feel there’s such a benefit in being social too.”
When I asked her if she thought living on campus made connections easier, she pondered a second, then admitted, “Yeah. yeah, I do . . . I think it’s super important if you don’t live on campus . . . you need to be in organizations that make you want to be here.”
She thoughtfully expressed to me how grateful she was to the Lord to have the opportunity to do SAC and ResLife and stressed how important it was, whether commuter or residential student, to find your niche. “If I hadn’t done either of those two things, my experience wouldn’t have been nearly as fulfilling.”
Margee’s definition of the college experience is a bit different, but just as deliberate. She mentioned that when you’re a commuter, “It’s easy to go to class and go home . . . I don’t think you need to feel pressured to take on [everything]. . . but as a commuter, it’s important to go to on-campus events, to stick around . . .” For her to truly get the experience she dreamt of, that means fully investing where she is right now at Cardinal and Cream.
She emphasized it often takes a while to find your place, “But when it comes . . . you’ll just have so much joy.” However, she mentioned that though you should push yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit, trusting the Lord is also such a big piece of the puzzle. “He’ll bring you where you’re supposed to be.”
Even though “home” is a different place for LG than it is for Margee, it is clear that they want very similar things from college: a place to belong, to grow, and to connect with others.
Listening to them talk, I realize something. Yes, proximity does help involvement, but it doesn’t remove responsibility. Getting involved is your choice, always. Now, granted, some parts of the college experience are subjective-you choose what organizations to get involved in, what roommates you live with, and often what classes you take. But what is objective about it is this: It always requires intentionality.
That leaves you with a question to ponder: Will you take it? Will you get involved in new things, even when it’s uncomfortable? Or will you settle for a so-so college experience because you’re unwilling to step out of your comfort zone?
Because no matter what, you are being purposeful, either to grow as a person or stay stagnant.
Will you grow?
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